The raft tilted and plunged, and rose high to the crest of every wave that it confronted.  Louis B. Lipchintz was very surprised to be in the middle of all this crashing and gnashing of the sea, because the ticket he had purchased two weeks before said that he was heading for relaxing boat tour of the Solomon Islands.

He didn't know why he was in the middle of all this splashing and hissing and rowing with the fat arm of a deck chair, but he suspected that it had something to do with the deaths of his mother and wife two years earlier.

Before he knew it, the biggest wave of them all came snarling up out of the depths at the minuscule raft.  Louis B. Lipchintz had better grip is fat deck chair arm tight!

Thank goodness might deck chair arm is so fat and sturdy he thought.

So Louis B. Lipchintz churned away at the sea slipping beneath them until he was flushed with the effort indeed even started to perspire beneath his aching arms.

But the tremendous wave was one million times more powerful than anything Louis B. Lipchintz could come up with and swamped him flat in a second.

 The wave was so tremendous that Louis B. Lipchintz could see all of the colors of the rainbow in it as it obliterated his raft and plunged him deep into the sea.

Like everybody else, the first thing Louis B. Lipchintz tried to do when he found himself underwater was drown.

He took in huge gulps of seawater until it felt as if his lungs were full of salty taffy.  But something in him just refused to drown, and he found himself bobbing and sinking towards the ocean floor in large gentle arcs like Baryshnikov's interpretation of a falling leaf.

When Louis B. Lipchintz reached the bottom of the ocean there was a quiet anemone waiting for him there.  One of its tentacles was black and ruined.  The Louis B. Lipchintz assumed that it must be giving the anemone a great deal of pain.

But the anemone sat there quietly nevertheless.

Louis B. Lipchintz spoke to the yellow anemone, inquiring after its health and how everything was going in school as he pulled out an orthodontic rubber band from his pocket to hold the black, withered tentacle away from the others because to do so reminded him of the thriving practice he had left far above on the surface.

Louis B. Lipchintz was still interviewing the anemone when he heard a tiny, polite, "harrumph, harrumph" at his back.

When he turned around, an elegant pink little crustacean introduced itself to him as Admiral Nimitz.  Then Admiral Nimitz bowed deeply with a very elegant wave of his whiplike nose, although his midriff made a sound like a bubblegum wrapper folded over on itself.

Louis B. Lipchintz handed Admiral Nimitz his card, which was extremely soggy at this point, mentioned that his rates were "very reasonable" and wondered if crustaceans had any teeth.

"Follow me!"  commanded Admiral Nimitz and disappeared behind a large sunset colored spray of fan coral.

"Follow me!"  a faint voice beckoned from behind a soft forest a fan coral.

While Louis B. Lipchintz was making his way through the tangle of fan coral waving gently all about him a shadow fell over him and the patch of fan coral. The Louis B. Lipchintz heard a deep musical hum surrounding him to the tune of Amazing Grace. 

Louis B. Lipchintz looked up and saw a giant smiling eye rolling in the blue ocean.

It was a whale, and it was humming the All-American hymn Amazing Grace to itself as it passed over Louis B. Lipchintz.

The whale's tail shook up the fan coral considerably and even took up one by the roots as the whale propelled itself into the distance. 

The turbulence in the whale's wake had uncovered a red lunchbox that contained a fresh mustard and peppermint sandwich and a thermos that was still warm. Louis B. Lipchintz ate the sandwich and drank what was in the thermos before the last leaf of disturbed kelp had returned to the sea floor.

By the time he was finished he could barely hear a faint, distant voice urging him on.

"Follow me!"

A fish came by blowing bubbles from its snout.  One of these bubbles snapped Louis B. Lipchintz up so quickly and he was so surprised that the fat deck chair arm sprang from his grasp.

Louis B. Lipchintz exhausted himself trying to pop his way out of the bubble that had engulfed him and did not rest until all of the colors had faded from the sea.  First green disappeared, then blue, then gray, until it was dark.

If it is dark, and I am in the dark, then how can I tell where I end and the dark begins?  Maybe I am not simply in the dark, maybe I am the dark, Louis B. Lipchintz mused darkly.  He strained his eyes to look at the darkness but failed to see anything of consequence.

It was certainly very dark.

Louis B. Lipchintz wondered when he would see the stars again, if there were in the stars left, that is. He wondered when he would be able to get out of this dreadful ocean. He remembered telling secrets to his mother about how tricky being an orthodontist was sometimes. He remembered kissing his wife and sharing meals with her. He sank his head back against the bubble and let oblivion embrace him.

Finally, when he was least expecting it, the bubble dissolved and he was free. 

"Now why did that happen?" He found himself asking.

"Oh, that bubble just got tired of holding its breath," Admiral Nimitz said.

"It did?" asked Louis B. Lipchintz.

"Wouldn't you?" the Admiral answered.

He followed Admiral Nimitz through a cove of dancing kelp, and they swam over a deep ravine crawling with poisonous pseudo-pods.

They passed a quorum of manatees at tea and even dodged a shark chasing a postman.

"Well, I've never seen manatees at tea before," Louis B. Lipchintz declared.

"Me neither," chimed in the Admiral.

Then Admiral Nimitz stopped and hovered in front of the most beautiful thing Louis B. Lipchintz had ever seen. He didn't know what it was. He didn't even know what it could be. Louis B. Lipchintz just floated there happy and amazed.

But that didn't last long.