The Golden Ticket [from Rose Lasso]

      Little mattered, and much pervaded 
        The antique living room too much sunlight had degraded; 
        A little heartache burned beneath his cassock, 
        And holy daybreak shattered at the blinds. 
5          If Christ defied his fashions 
           And strode untemplated and rude, 
           If Hitler really killed them all 
           Then how dare I intrude? 
      My voice imparts and falls, toils and tolls, 
10    Its happenstances and romances, its passions 
      Its trances of a certain evening in a certain loll 
      And on into dawn prepares some further wrong 
      Inconsequent, yet beckoning, a passionate 
      Lark backspread against dispassionate clouds. 
15    (I have stood upon the Arctic zones and poles 
      Of certain yellow unlighted rooms.) 
      Among the wasted cigarettes and torn pornography 
      I have sifted and resisted so many  
      Facts and truths that harshly glare in so many  
20    Wasted one-time afternoons. 
      Holding, holding 
      Our hands beneath the spider's pall were golden. 
      The hackneyed painter's ennui endures 
      Formulas of snow and absence, building sets; 
25    Nailed in the aurora's tonic light, and stiff, 
      My red shoes stand steadied on a cliff. 
      (I sew my fingers backward that sew my shroud.) 
      And I have wandered lost and wondered found 
      And in a crossed broken shadow drowned; 
30    (I have lived my life while floating upon the rood.) 
      Chastized eyes 
      Chastized eyes 
      Glare no more on inward wars 
      Accreted dusts that sharply crept 
35    Down the pale defiles at midnight, 
      Or assembled dust tumbled from untouched dresser drawers 
      Spilling golden dirty light over all. 
      (I have seen them all, and touched them all 
      And thrown them all away already, 
40    Golden crowns cascading to a wastebin. 
      I have touched the molten blots that blot within. 
      I have rearranged my clothes upon a hook.) 
      Here's some argument's half-misapprehension, 
      There, the moronic posture of a gesture 
45    Gilding the broken indices of fate. 
      A look, a moment's condescension 
      Gazes back from above a moth-eaten bureau 
      To fall upon the blankness of a wall. 
      And I have longed and I have lounged, 
50    Taking nights apart to tack the day together, 
      And still the terrorist dawn arrives, inflicts 
      Green and golden, and obliterates my weathers. 
      O fol de rol de rolly o 
      My bloodless feet are skirled in skeins of snow 
55    Daybreak snaps the blinds. Bored, it leaves 
      Out through exhausted windows where I have thrown 
      How many tired glances into airs unknown? 
      And they are tired, emptied by seeing, 
      Glancing netherwhere, seeing, recoiling, 
60    Seeing the thousand toiling hours of neglect 
      The glazed eyes of weary aspect, 
      Hollow yet disdainful, and rolled upon a bulb 
      Or blindly churched in the long, squared 
      Eternity of a ratty book that blazes 
65    Trashed Byzantiums in footnotes obscure; 
      Or restless finds itself still climbing 
      To some even more forgotten shelf 
      While a quaint, antiquarian transcendence 
      Cool and numb 
70    Floods moldy light upon the moldy carpeting. 
      And still the snow inquires 
      And still the day expires 
      Answerless, if my foot shall daedalus the fresh. 
      (I have killed and I have died for less.) 
75    ---No, no I haven't been. Is it near here? 
      What's it like? Is it extraordinary?  
                       Oh, its full 
      Of quiet shades, thoughtful darknesses. 
      ---My, there's no end to things in the heart. 
80    Is there now? Now is there? 
      No, no truly; 
      There is never any end to things. 
      And the squeeze of nights, the evenings 
      Where so many eden days have sank entranced, 
85    Collapsed so charmingly about an aborted heart 
      In so many unheated ochre rooms alone! 
      Oh I have seen and mourned the fabled light 
      Disastered in a rucksack crease of dirty pants. 
      And yet, how shall I begin, and how beget? 
90    I have looked through ochre eyes and hollow rooms 
      Undeceived, and yet, and yet.... 
      I am scarred and I am mastered in the garden, 
      Near the wisteria, iced by the moonlight's 
      Porcelain glances. How many years and days 
95    Has it been, how many, since first, in moonlight, 
      We traded sudden glances? 
      Roses had maddened us, and we were glad. 
      Here, balancing the wisteria on a fingerend 
      Pointing past my agile nose to oblivion, 
100   Cold leaves rustle in the ruined fountain; 
      Water's memory in the concrete bowl 
      Scratching over the water's ancient course. 
      A thousand points of light conflict 
      In a thousand parted dooryards; 
105   Conflict, flicker, and then resolve 
      Focused into a single momentary glow. 
      (My eyes and I contain 
      A thousand portions of a thousand parted souls.) 
      O fol de rol de rolly o 
110   My bloodless feet are skirled in skeins of snow

 

From the collection "The Rose Lasso"

Written by Gregg Glory [Gregg G. Brown]

More information available on gregglory.com.