Only at a bondage convention would you see two young women sitting on a display table with their hands locked behind their backs and pieces of adhesive tape stuck to their mouths. Only at a fetish trade show would you notice that the pieces of adhesive tape have red lips painted on them, as if to suggest that these women's mouths aren't really covered over, but are somehow present, at least in idea. Only at such a kinky gathering would your eye be drawn to the hand-lettered signs hanging from the women's necks, reading: "Gag kisses $6." And only then would you know that you are at an esoteric event, not at a party of friends, not at a family dinner. For only there would you see two women so engaged in humiliating behavior that you almost would not be able to believe their level of enthusiasm. And only there would you hang around to get a vicarious thrill by watching some twisted dude shell out six bucks for the privilege of pressing his lips against the painted tape. But only there would you see no one buying, because the notion of gag kisses would be so passé as to not turn a single head in the throngs of passersby. And only there would you walk away and come back a few minutes later to find the gag kiss price marked down to $5 from $6. And only then would you feel sorry for these two women, but only for a moment, until you see the humor in the cheapness of a gag kiss. But only then would you understand that you can't laugh, because that's what a vanilla sex person would do, and you, after all, are a chocolate sex person. And only at that moment would you see a woman, a devotee who probably was recently tied up and mortified herself, buying a kiss from each of the two. And only then would you wonder why you did not have the cojones to do the same.